Awkward mindfulness counts

I love reading about mindfulness, probably more than I love practicing mindfulness. Even though

mindfulness is intended to emphasize noticing without judgment, I tend to judge my lack of noticing. Or

even judge what I’m noticing. This is not mindfulness. So, I decided to spend today noticing all I could

and intentionally attempting to enjoy mindfulness inspired by even awkward encounters. Here we go…

8:30 am – In a moment of indecisive driving, I ended up horizontal in some vertically-oriented traffic.

This brought some impassioned gestures my way. Traffic wasn’t moving so I had a good 45 seconds of

eye contact with two of these drivers (who did not seem to be practicing mindfulness). I noticed their

faces, their hands (and fingers), and their blaring horns. I am pretty sure they had come to some

judgments about me. I waved and mouthed some words explaining my day’s goal of embracing

uncomfortable moments. I’m not sure if I won them over, but one did seem interested.

11:15 am - When in a professional meeting with a lovely human, we got to a moment where a difficult

and unfair conversation was being vulnerably shared. I, in response, compared the situation to a certain

kind of fart. As I was saying the words, regret almost made an appearance. However, I noticed her

reaction over my own embarrassment and could see that she is laughing. I then start to laugh.

Metaphors (even digestive ones) just work.

2 pm – I’m in a hurry, but I needed to pick up my glasses. When running into the office, I quickly opened

the bathroom door outside the eye doctor so that I can get rid of my gum. Aiming at the trash can, I

missed by quite a lot. The gum sticks to the floor between the toilet and the wall. I freak out a bit. While

trying to solve the problem creatively, someone walks in (because there had been no need to lock the

door as spitting out gum takes an average adult 3 seconds). So I explain to the startled man that I had a

gum incident that I needed to rectify, but it’s ok because I’m practicing mindfulness. He decided he

didn’t need to use the bathroom. I understand his instinct and move forward with my plan.

It’s nice to try and catch moments of mindfulness in sweet or tender or heartfelt situations. However,

mindfulness allows for any moment to be treated as important. My awkwardness has something to offer

me. Today, I feel entertained by parts of me that usually lead to mild self-loathing. Some of self-

acceptance led to immediate relational payoff. Some did not. Still, I notice.