Daydream deconstructed

My daydreams, for years, indulged the fantasy of being granted the superpower of invisibility. That power [invisibility] would bring me safety, control, protection, rest. All in one moment, struggles would be obsolete. 

One day, recently, a passing internal question changed the dream. Why had I determined invisibility to be the solution for fear, insecurity, and the need for boundaries? Beliefs began to unravel and reassemble. Dramatically and with some overwhelm.

If I get to wish for a supernatural skill set, any superpower, then why can’t I choose to be seen…actually seen….20/20 sightedness that shines light on who I am and how I came to be. Then I, in return, have the power to see the inner workings of those taking in the experience of me. I see their acknowledgement and acceptance or utter lack thereof. 

I could continue to wish for retreating into invisibility, but I am then complicit in wishing for others’ Marshall sightlessness. Or I can stand here and insist on seeing and being seen, ending the longstanding game of relational hide and seek.

Ready or not…