My daydreams, for years, indulged the fantasy of being granted the super power of invisibility.
That power [invisibility] would bring me safety, control, protection, rest. All in one moment, struggles would be obsolete.
One day, recently, a passing internal question changed the dream. Why is invisibility the solution for insecurity? Beliefs began to unravel and reassemble.
If I get to wish for a supernatural skill set, then I choose to be seen…actually seen….20/20 sightedness that shines light on who I am and how I came to be. Then I, in return, have the power to see the inner workings of those taking in the experience of me. I see their acknowledgement and acceptance or utter lack thereof.
I could continue to wish for retreating into invisibility, but I am then complicit in wishing for others’ blindness. Or I can stand here and insist on seeing and being seen, ending the longstanding game of relational hide and seek.
Ready or not…
Reflections on lessons learned from being a therapist and adoptive dad.